random

feeling stress!!!
trials is in a weeks time!!!!
stress stress stress
unable to sleep every night
physics flashes through my mind
half way chemistry joins in too
wondering will maths and pa join the party??
the answer is yes
yeah me
NOT!!!!

wanna have a good night sleep..
please...
just set me free for one day
6 to 7 hours will do
pretty pretty please with sugar on top of it...

story

am sure everyone knows that their life is like a story

surely everyone wants a happy ending to it

but recently realize that my life is like a horror movie

filled with unexpected surprises

dying scenes

murder scenes

heart-aching memories

filled with litres of tears too

just want this movie to end!!!

Jeen

as u guys can see the title is jeen
this post is dedicated to her
for those who don't know jeen is my cousin/next door neighbour
known her for 19 years..
as both of us were in born in the year of 1990
why did i decide to dedicate this post to her??
the reason is cause she will be leaving tomorrow to further her studies
Australia will be her new home starting tomorrow

sorry jeen that i wont be sending u off at the airport
but u do know that is a good thing rite
u don't want me to cry at the airport rite
as u know am very sensitive and cry baby..lolz..
definitely feeling sad that she is leaving
we practically been inseparable since young..
well not like twins but maybe sisters..lolz..
we did everything together even when we were kids..
i remember playing barber with her and my younger sister wehn we were kids..
the funniest thing was she allowed my sister to cut her hair and the end results was so so so funny..lolz...
we would have bicycle rides outside of our old house..
playing poly pockets or barbie dolls together..lolz...

as we grew up,we attended the same kinder garden which was kinddyhouse..
we were even in the same class...
we went to standard 1 together..
still we were in the same class..
we would go for recess together and wander around later..lolz..
by standard 4 we weren't in the same class anymore..
though we attended clubs,tuition together..
when she moved,apparently my family moved to
and we continued to be next door neighbours..lolz...

then secondary school was our next step...
once again i have my cousin next to me here..
we joined the same clubs as usual..lolz...
even then we would go for movies together...
though she moved to another school in form 4..
we would still hang out and go for tuition together..
although i don't see her everyday but i would definitely see he on weekends where i can just go over next door..lolz...

seriously she can be said as my third sister as we talk about everything..
boyfriends,schools problems and many more..
am really really happy and glad to have a cousin like her...
yes she can be very weird at times but she is someone u would wanna be friends with..
nice to hang out,funny(very funny),helpful and many more..

jeen,
definitely will be missing u alot when u are there..
though now we dont see each other much but memories with u will always be with me..
our trips to pasar malam,movies,holidays,siang malam and etc
i would be losing my kerang.fatman steamboat partner..
my gossip partner too..lolz...
take good care of yourself there ya..but i have faith u will..
see u during December...

us as babies..the bigger head is jeen..lolz...


us in kiddyhouse..

some random shots when we were kids

i think this is during chinese new year..

sorry cant recall as i have spent 19 years if chinese new year with her..lolz..

my birthday..

the one in specs is jeen..lolz...

during cny 06

our holiday in club med

pd holiday

at hongkie kopitiam..lolz..

us again..

us in yamcha sessions

us in some uncle aniversary dinner

crazy shots at home..lol...

kl trip was one place we would have together often

kl trip again..lolz...

shopping with cousins..lolz..

final pic of us..lolz...

told u that we were kinda inseparable..lolz....

will be missing u jeeny..

dilemma

am in total dilemma
i dont know what i should do
should i tell or not?
should i do it or not?
should i stand to my point or not?
should i let it go or not?
i really dont know what i should do
help me!!!!

i want to but am afraid
but if i dont am afraid i will go mad
or even get depressed
why cant i just make up my mind
why cant i just do it
seem so easy rite
but in reality is something very difficult for me
i dont wanna hurt anyone but it seems like am hurting myself
gosh...what should i do????!!!!!

why cant it just go away?
why must this happen to me?
why must i care?
why cant i just be ignorant?
why cant i just be more stern?
why must i be so soft?
why??!!!!

is it just me or it happens to everyone?

Results

got my mid year results today..
well i did kinda bad..
my C-GPA has dropped from 3.5 to 2.8
haihz...
was really disappointed with my marks
i thought i could at least got 2 a-...
but reality is none in my possession...
i almost failed my physics paper..
got really bad marks for all the other subjects due to careless mistakes...
fell so stupid...
why cant i be more careful...
i lost 5 to 10 marks every paper due to careless mistakes...
stupid hueyshin!!!!
not only that,my pressing calculator i still manage to get wrong answer..
stupid hueyshin!!!

really hit me hard..
make me wonder
can i still be able to cope??
will i continue to do badly??
will i fail the next time??
is it that am not hardworking enough??

wake up hueyshin
time to face the reality
no time to regret over split milk
work harder!!!
sleep less,outing less,tv and com time less,
time to really work hard
must prove myself in the next test which is in another 2 weeks..
WORK HARD HUEYSHIN!!!

Free

at last mid year is over!!!!
well not exactly free yet..
still in the long run of stpm
well at least can get some good night sleep...
good night sleep has been out of my dictionary for the past month..
being stress up all the time...
i wanna be stress free!!!!
but am sure that will never happen..
but why???
why cant i be stress free..

can i at least have one stress free day?
where i can go to where i wanna go..
mmm..well i always wan to have this one stress free day..
where i would be out in the morning for breakfast...
then a movie or two..
a walk on the beach..
laying on the smooth sand
while staring at the breath taking full moon

wonder will this ever happen..
lolz..i am dreaming too much..lolz...
well is time for me to sleep..
hopefully can have my sweet dream..lolz..

Happy Mother's Day

To all moms,
happy mother's day
this day is dedicated to u
is a day for u to slow day and see all the pretty things
as u are always busy taking care of ur family
so moms all around the world,
enjoy this day
have fun and smile widely
every mom's smile is considered sweet to their children
so moms smile more...lolz...

as for my family,
will be celebrating this special day on tuesday
this is cause we wanna wait for my elder sis to be back
so mummy so sorry ya
hope u wont mind..
mummy thanks for everything ya
i really do appreciate it
althought i dont show it often
u really are a superwoman
taking care of this family from head to toe
giving us what we wan
love u mummy...